Why I Am Not A Christian

Today is a good day.

We have finally got rain in this desert, and the climate makes me happy. Clouds give me courage. The sun pushes me away. No, I am not a vampire, but maybe I should have lived in Ireland.

Apart from me stealing Bertrand Russell's famous essay title, I'd like to talk about some of the reasons I do not call myself a Christian.

Before I begin, I'd like to state that I am aware of both sides of the recent mental struggle between Fundamental Christians and Fundamental Atheists (In other words, those who believe the other side should be eliminated). I am also aware there are many Liberal Christians whom I admire, one being philosophy professor Eric Reitan and another one being a fellow creative writer and friend (If you'd like to know what they think, I'm following them at The Piety That Lies Between and The Imaginary Blog, respectively).

I have to be honest: I used to be a fundamental anti-Christian. Every time I looked at an image of Jesus, I imagined the Crusades, the conquistadors, anti-feminism, antisemitism, homophobia, the Dark Ages, pedophilia by the Catholic Church, Fred Phelps and other less-loved characters in contemporary liberal media, etc.

But this aggressive stance brought me much suffering. I felt anger most days and blamed Christianity for almost everything that was wrong with western society. I "changed" my religion many times, trying to find a substitute for the Catholicism I was brought up in... but nothing worked. I was still angry... in fact, I blamed all religions.

Then I studied Philosophy of Religion in my last semester at OSU. In the beginning I kept trouncing those arguments in favor of belief in God, since those philosophies were based on western ideas (Ideas that are centered in duality, or in layman's terms: "Yes or No, no in-between").

I used eastern ideas to say that the world was not divided between those who believe and those who don't. I tried to bring an end to this fight of duality, which was ridiculous to me. I don't remember exactly the kind of arguments I used. I kept scoffing privately at those students who used the Bible as pure evidence for God's existence, rather than opening their minds to other types of philosophy...

...which was exactly what I was doing...

When I realized this, I opened my mind to Christian philosophy. I finally stopped being angry at Christianity, and gave it a chance to convince me. Perhaps being a Christian WAS what I had to do. It might have finally given me a place in American culture; I was going to be like apple pie and homecoming football games...

It never happened, but I finally understood Christianity, and the idea that might have fully convinced me was the following:

God sent himself to the world (as Jesus) in order to experience His own absence, just like we humans seem to experience His own absence everyday.

 ...and then, there was peace.

* * *

I guess this redeemed God's love for humanity, and I think most Liberal Christians will agree that Jesus' philosophy is not about picketing other people's funerals, but about loving others and ourselves in equal measure, so to create a brotherhood of humanity. This is exactly the reason why John 3:16 is the most used biblical quote in order to bring about converts:

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life (John 3:16, NIV).

I had made peace with Christianity. I understood why people were Christian, which was something I was seeking in all the wrong places. However, peace does not mean conversion.

But how can you not believe in Jesus if you understand Christianity? you might ask me.

Well, just because I understand something, doesn't mean that I have to believe in it. Understanding is not the same as belief.


Now, I understand WHY people are Christian. You CAN believe in Christianity and be open-minded at the same time. But I do not believe in some aspects that are sometimes central to the Christian doctrine:

• The Bible has no authority on me. It is simply a book written many years ago, that elevated its status from a simple collection of Jewish stories into the greatest best-seller in the world. It is not literary, it is merely symbolic.
• I do not believe that Jesus is the son of God, nor that he died for my sins. I see no reason to purify mankind sending my only son to die for them.
• The trinity is erroneous. I prefer unitarianism, because I believe that God is one, and not three.
• I have never felt truly connected with Christianity, either Protestant or Catholic.

My final answer to Christians is


I understand why you believe. I think it's a beautiful thing that you are dedicating your life to follow Christ's example (and truly follow his philosophy of love). But I do not believe in your ideas, because they have not convinced me. Perhaps they will in the future, but for now I am happier not believing in them.

Thank you for reading. I hope this proved to be a rich philosophical post!

23 years, and something philosophical...

I am finally 23 years-old, which is one of those ages when there's nothing more special than moving forward and trying not to look like a 16-year-old (which, I'm afraid to say I do... I should shave less, but then I'd look like a gang rapist).

You might be wondering what the *insert the place of never-ending suffering here according to Christian doctrine* happened to me. Well, dear reader, I'm afraid to inform that my grandmother passed away last January 15th, and I haven't been feeling disposed. Fear not. Not writing on my blog does not imply not talking to friends. A lot of wonderful people have helped me recover, and I can't thank them enough. The truth is, yes, I deeply miss her, but I was also getting ready for her parting. I do like writing here.

As you may see if you've followed me before, I changed how my blog looks, because to be honest, I hate the color brown, khaki, maroon, and any other type of color that tries to be red, but can't because it's wimpy. My favorite colors are blue and green, and I think these changes reflect my personality more.

There's something I'd like to discuss in here, something philosophical or maybe psychological.

Pleasing.

Whether we work so hard to try and please others, or we force others to please us, is something that I do quite often. I often ask myself questions like:

-Why don't my friends talk to me all the time?
-If my dad yells at me, does it mean that I'm a failure?
-When I don't read enough literary works, will I be an idiot?
-Am I writing this blog for me or for others?

Such is the weight that I let myself carry. I ask myself to please whoever talks to me, whether my own mother or the clerk I just met who works at Wal-Mart. I also ask others to please me in turn, by asking them favors or telling them their "shoulds" and "shouldn'ts." The never-ending quest for perfection...

But people are not poems (that I can work on to reach a level of "perfection"), and friends are not mathematical formulas. In the end, the sole creator of the previous questions is myself. I am responsible for this kind of struggle that I'm in. I let others dictate my actions, as long as they let me dictate theirs. It's like a vicious circle of possession.

It's like saying: "I will do whatever you want me to do, as long as you do whatever I want you to do."

How to change this perception?

Is it: "I will do whatever I want to do, as long as you let me do it."? Doesn't seem like it...

Or: "I will do whatever I want to do, as long as I believe it's reasonable and does not contradict my ethics."

Maybe...

LOLcat, the future of the English language?

I'm finally settled in Monterrey, Mexico. Regardless of some family difficulties which I'd rather not dwell upon, it has been pretty boring down here. I do, however, have the belief that the more we write about something, the more true that phenomenon becomes... Imagine just how Communism spread the more people talked about it, or how Christianity spread in the same way. To put it simply, an idea spreads quickly the more you talk about it. Write about fear and fear appears. Write about love and love appears.

I have decided not to talk about the issues in my city. What good does negativity do to the mind? One time I got so worried that I didn't even want to write... I thought of the power of the mind and how much control it can lose when it lets the media take command of my freedom.

In short, I'm OK and my dad bought a new puppy, a male Bull Mastiff that I just keep calling Dante, thinking about the Divine Comedy. We all love him, and hope that our older male Rottweiler won't feel forgotten.

OK, back to seriousness, hehe...

I think this blog can be about three things: Poetry, English and Philosophy, since these are my three favorite topics. For now, let me address something I found both disturbing and strangely hypnotic concerning the English language:

LOLcats

Yes.

LOLcats

One could say:

it's just a funny internet site with cute kitty pictures and horrible spelling errors. Nobody takes it seriously.

What if I told you that people have written a LOLcat translation of the Bible?

I'm not kidding! Amazon is selling it:

http://www.amazon.com/LOLcat-Bible-beginnin-Ceiling-stuffs/dp/1569757348/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1294727933&sr=8-1

Think about it:

the holiest book in Christianity translated by hundreds (maybe thousands or millions) of anonymous contributors into LOLcat.

Does this mean that LOLcat has become more than a silly internet meme? Is it now part of the American culture? Is it the apotheosis of Postmodern thought and the end of the world as we know it?

...

...naahh

I think LOLcat is a natural phenomenon. The Internet has become almost like a new culture. For example, I chat a lot, and never use punctuation, or uppercase letters unless I'm screaming. I also substitute "you" with "u," while the three characters "its" could mean "it's" or "its" in chat, depending on the context.

I think "right" has been substituted by "fast" in the Internet culture. Fast is easy, but not always the right thing.

Why should I read the LOLcat Bible? I tried reading Genesis 1 and my head hurt a little. I am not used to Internet talk! I'm an English major, for goodness' sake! I'm not supposed to tolerate these kinds of grammar, spelling and whatever-else-may-be mistakes! Why? WHY???

Phonetics, perhaps. I never studied linguistics, but while reading the LOLcat Bible translation, I felt like I was learning a whole new language that may be coexisting in Internet subcultures alongside Modern English. I felt that I was listening more to the sound of something said, rather than how something is written, and I think this is a good training exercise for the brain.

So, is the order now: Old English, Middle English, Modern English and LOLcat? Impossible. I love Modern English too much to let it die completely by LOLcat.

Believe me, I'm no expert in language development... I'm just living life and writing here for the lulz   =^_^=